


a sudden rush of water

by rarmaster



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-15
Updated: 2016-09-15
Packaged: 2018-08-15 05:36:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8044402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rarmaster/pseuds/rarmaster
Summary: She's been wandering these dark paths for so long. When was the last time she'd really felt anything...?((Aka I can't wait for Aqua Walks Through Her Nightmares: The Video Game, so I wrote Aqua Walks Through Her Nightmares: The Fic))





	a sudden rush of water

**Author's Note:**

> [how about that tgs 2.8 trailer huh](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqYOuRm7i6w)

Most days, wandering through the darkness was just that. Wandering down paths that all looked the same, fighting monsters she had no name for, feeling the darkness press against her skin. (The darkness around her was a constant foul taste in the back of her throat, but she’d started to grow used to it.) She had to act with hyper-vigilance, lest she be taken by surprise.

Some days, it was… worse.

One second Aqua would be standing on one of those cold, winding pathways, and the next she’d be standing something else. Somewhere she recognized, in a scene splayed out before her that was, also, familiar. It would be a scene painted from her memories. But anything that the darkness painted would always be more cruel than the original.

This time, she found herself in a familiar flower field. Her eyes glazed over the quaint cottage in the distance, and the low trees surrounding it, until they spotted the coffin. Feeling drawn to it, Aqua moved forward.

Something in her gut knew what she’d see before she saw it. And when the edges of his form became clear to her through the glass Aqua ran, feet pushing off against ground that felt nothing like the grass and the flowers she saw.

“ _Ven_!” she shouted, hands falling onto the lid of the glass case, her body trembling.

She’d seen him like this before—a trick of her eyes, his form imposed over Snow White’s for a second—but this… this was not like that. No matter how long Aqua stared, it remained Ven’s shape.

His face didn’t look peaceful. It just looked blank.

“Ven, hang on,” she said, running her fingers around the glass, trying to find the edge of it, or a latch or something, so she could let him out. She had to wake him up. “Don’t worry, it’s going to be okay—”

But this wasn’t real.

It took her a second to remember that. (It always took her a second to remember that.) She pulled her hands away from the coffin slowly, glancing quickly over both shoulders. But… there were no monsters that snuck up while she was distracted.

Heart in her throat, really regretting it, Aqua turned away from Ven. He wasn’t real, he wasn’t here, this wasn’t where she’d left him. If the darkness wanted to trick her, it’d have to do better than—

“ _Why’d you leave me, Aqua?”_

Ven’s voice. Coming from behind her, from all around her.

“ _If you’d stayed with me, then you could have saved me. You could have called me back home.”_

Hands shaking, chest tight, Aqua turned back around. Ven had not moved—his face still remained blank. But his voice continued.

“ _But no,”_ there was a sharpness in his tone, a sharpness unlike him, “ _you had to go find TERRA, even though you knew it was a lost cause. You had to go find TERRA, because he mattered more to you than I—_ ”

“I wanted to get him so he could _HELP!_ ” Aqua argued, unable to bear the thought of Ven finishing the sentence. “I wanted to find him so we could wake you up _together_.”

_“You made that place my graveyard, Aqua.”_

“No.” Aqua said the word, firmly, to herself, shaking her head. She squeezed her eyes shut. Reminded herself this wasn’t real. She could not smell the flowers around her. The ground under her feet felt nothing like grass.

And if this was real—if it was _really_ Ven—she’d feel him. She’d feel his heart, feel the warmth and the unwavering light in it before her. She couldn’t feel that now.

(But, she hadn’t felt it when she’d left him, either.)

Trembling, tears burning in her throat even if not in her eyes, Aqua fell to her knees. It was a long time before she moved again.

 

 

 

Aqua held her wayfinder tightly in her hand, pressing the uneven shape of it into her skin as she walked. She needed it, as a reminder. Of why she had to keep moving. Of what she was fighting for. Of who was waiting for her if she ever found her way back home. The weight of it in her pocket wasn’t enough anymore.

The scenery around her was the same as it always was, white ground and towering darkness, the black sky giving way to a deep blue on occasion. (If the fact it was made of darkness didn’t tint her perception of her surroundings as much as it did, she might have called the scene pretty.)

She sensed no monsters nearby, which was nice. She’d found that they didn’t hunt her down quite as relentlessly if she didn’t have her Keyblade out. So for now, all there was to do was wander…

Except, there was something in the distance. Two shapes made of bright colors danced at the furthest reach of her vision. Could it be…? She’d recognize those silhouettes anywhere!

“Terra!” she shouted, moving a little faster. “Ven!”

They were here? How did they get here? Maybe they were here to help her—or maybe this was the end of the road, the way out. She didn’t know, but she was eager to see their faces.

She slowed, though as she neared them. Something was wrong.

“Terra…?” She reached out towards them. “Ven…?”

They turned then, sharply, in perfect unison. That’s when she saw their faces. Ven’s eyes gleaming gold, a terrible crooked smile drawn across his mouth. He was clothed in black, and the blade he held was large, impossible, a blade she’d only seen once—

Terra, too, had his face twisted into a cruel smirk, his eyes a deeper gold, his hair a stark white. His clothes were still his own, but the blade he held was not.

Aqua took a step back.

“N-”

They struck, before she could react.

There was an explosion of terrible power, a fire in her gut as their blades connected. She flew backwards through the air. She landed with an impact that knocked the air out of her lungs.

Aqua desperately wanted to lay there, and breathe, and take a few moments to remind herself that this wasn’t real, but her reflexes were too honed, had gotten too much practice. Even as she was firmly thinking there was no threat, no real one, her body was pushing her onto hands and knees and her lips forming the words of the spell that bound the string of the wayfinder around her wrist so she could not drop it.

When she opened her eyes she saw dirt below her, though her fingers still felt something cold. Endless rows of lifeless Keyblades surrounded her, each vanishing the moment she drew too close. The sky remained an inky black.

“ _You couldn’t save us, Aqua,_ ”—Terra’s and Ven’s voices, in unison.

She summoned her Keyblade to her—(except it wasn’t even hers, and it still felt foreign in her hand)—and spun around, rising to her feet. She didn’t want to hear this, didn’t want to see these faces. Keyblade bared, she ran at them.

Her blade clashed against Ven’s, his guard too thick to break through. Meeting the crazed look in his golden eyes sent chills down her spine. Terra’s foot connected with her stomach, shoving her away.

She caught herself this time, feet skidding through what looked like dirt but felt like ice. She’d been fighting on this surface for a long time now. She didn’t lose her balance.

“Leave me alone,” she spat, lips forming sharply around the words. Master Keeper was heavy in her hand. “I know you’re just an illusion.”

“ _An illusion?_ ” Ven laughed. His voice was his own, but his tone sounded too much like Vanitas’s for comfort. “ _But an illusion can’t pack a PUNCH—”_ Suddenly he was behind her, blade connecting with her side in a sharp pain. “— _now can it?_ ”

Aqua grit her teeth and straightened from her stumble. The ghostly Keyblades around them shifted, constantly keeping the three of them enclosed in a perfect circle.

“ _We’re like this because you didn’t stop it,_ ” Terra said, from his position on Aqua’s left, Ven’s right. They stood in a triangle.

Ven stepped towards her, pushing her back, his grin wider with every step.

“ _We’re like this because you FAILED._ ”

Aqua did not move, though Ven was very close to her now. She held herself straight.

“You’re wrong,” she said, and she stared him in the eye. “I did save you. I stopped Vanitas. Together, Ven, we stopped Vanitas.” Her heart was in her throat, but she kept her voice firm. “You- You didn’t stay like this. I saved you.”

Ven’s face went slack, the smirk fading, the slightest bit of blue bursting through gold at the edges of his irises.

“I saved you,” Aqua repeated, because it made him take a step back, made him look less certain. “I saved you, Ven.”

“ _But you didn’t save me_.”

Terra’s voice, from behind her. Aqua spun around, and suddenly they no longer stood in the Keyblade Graveyard. They stood in Radiant Garden, grey shadows cast over the purple brick and the usually-bright flowers. It was just her and Terra.

“Y- You’re wrong, too!” Aqua told him, but with much less confidence this time. “You- You and I, together, we stopped Xehanort. We- we…”

“ _Stopped me?_ ” Terra laughed a laugh that was not his own. “ _Please. If you thought it was your friend who walked out of that, instead of me, then you—”_

“No!” Aqua shouted. “You can’t- It can’t be true. You’re just saying things to- to—” Her mouth fumbled for the right words. She knew that he had to be lying, because there was no way she could know the things he was saying. She could fear them, but that didn’t mean they were true.

“ _And to think,_ ” Terra continued, still smiling, like he hadn’t heard her. “ _All the havoc I’ll cause on the worlds after this… It’s all YOUR fault. You gave up your armor, and your Keyblade—”_

Aqua’s hand tightened around Master Keeper on reflex. It left an aching emptiness in her chest.

“ _—and used it to ‘save’ me. Now YOU’RE the one trapped, and I’M the one who gets to roam free!”_ He sounded triumphant, smug, and there was a gleam in his eyes that Aqua couldn’t stand.

“It’s not true!” she argued, voice cracking. “Terra- Terra is _strong._ He _stopped_ you, even if I didn’t. He _did_!”

Terra’s face just laughed. “ _If he was really that strong, then do you think he would’ve ended up in this position to begin with?_ ”

It felt like all the air had been sucked out of Aqua’s lungs. He was lying—he had to be, but there was something writhing in her stomach. Something telling her that he…

“You’re not real!” Aqua shouted, out of any other options. She dug her heels into ground that was decidedly not stone. She closed her eyes shut to block out her vision of Terra. She reminded herself she could not feel Terra’s—nor Xehanort’s—presence. She could not feel either of their hearts resonating with hers. She could not feel him, so he wasn’t real, he wasn’t real, he wasn’t…

 

 

 

There were _some_ places she visited that were different than the endless paths of darkness and the twisted recreations of her memories. There were... worlds, fragments of worlds, worlds that she recognized.

Where she stood now was a place that echoed one she had been in before. Remnants of Dwarf Woodlands, turned into something that only barely resembled the place. She’d taken a step through an archway and had ended up here, an ethereal plane where everything around her was purple mist, and the floor below her a watery reflection.

In the center of the area sat a mirror.

She’d seen this mirror before, fought this mirror before. Had she somehow been sucked into it again? There didn’t appear to be another way out…

Aqua moved towards the mirror, cautious, but confident. She reached out and pressed her palm to it. Instead of her hand passing through the glass, the mirror shocked her.

Shaking her hand, hissing in pain, Aqua took a step back. The image in the mirror didn’t move with her—its fingertips remained against the other side of the glass.

                                    _Is there any point in….._

_Your bonds are fractured._

_..…could I have saved him?_

A cold, cruel voice rang out from the depths of the mirror. Her own voice.

Master Keeper fell into Aqua’s hand as she watched, watched fingertips burst from the mirror’s surface, followed by a hand. Her hand.

                                                                                    _Eliminated as a Master….._

_The lonely realm of darkness…_

Aqua jumped backwards, her heart pounding. Her doubts—voiced—swam in the air around her. Her mistakes were laid out bare. Master Keeper appeared in the hand of her mirrored self, as it stepped out of the glass.

_You left them to their doom._

_Some Master you are._

_Your friends…. How could you…._

“Your heart is hollow enough to be a demon’s,” said Mirror-Aqua, her voice icy, biting, crystal clear. She was a perfect reflection of Aqua, right down to wayfinder strapped around her wrist.

Aqua swallowed hard. Her throat felt very dry.

“L- _Liar_!” she shouted. “My heart’s not hollow—it’s strong. I’ll-!” Her fingers tightened around the hilt of Master Keeper. She stared her reflection down. “I’ll prove it!”

Mirror-Aqua laughed, a disapproving sneer on her lips.

“Go ahead and try.”

A cry in her throat and a Firaga at her fingertips, Aqua ran forward. She struck first with her blade, and while her reflection’s attention was in blocking that, she brought the Firaga to meet Mirror-Aqua’s side. Against Terra, it would work perfectly. Ven might have slipped away, but the Firaga still would have caught him.

But this was not Terra nor Ven that she was fighting.

This was a reflection of herself, and she was reminded of that very sharply when Barrier burst forth between it and her, pushing her away.

Aqua cartwheeled back, her mind running through all the spells she knew as she moved. How many did her reflection know? Could she overwhelm it?

She cast Mega Flare, and then Ice Barrage, and—anticipating her own movements—turned and cast Thundaga Shot. All three connected, but Mirror-Aqua did not seem the slightest bit fazed.

Having enough energy, Aqua launched herself into Spellweaver. Spinning, she moved towards her mirrored self.

That’s when Ice Barrage broke out from under her feet.

Aqua stumbled and fell to the ground, taken by surprise. Spellweaver died abruptly.

“Pathetic,” Mirror-Aqua said, pointing her blade down at the real Aqua, standing over her. “You call yourself a Keyblade Master? You can’t even protect yourself.”

“Shut _up!”_ Aqua spat. She set off Seeker Mine directly below her, followed by a Barrier around herself to ease the damage.

Mirror-Aqua staggered a little with each hit, but otherwise she remained as stone-faced and still as a statue. Aqua scrambled to her feet and turned the Barrier into Barrier Surge, moving away, getting some distance—

“You’re empty,” Mirror-Aqua called, as the explosions faded and she activated a shotlock.

Aqua jumped and dodged out of the way, readying another Thundaga Shot as her Mirror ran to meet her.

“You fight, but there’s no _passion_ in it!”

Now she understood why Terra always called her movements fluid, and why Ven claimed watching her fight was like watching a dance. It was hard to appreciate the way her mirror flowed from one attack to the other when _she_ was the target, but she could see the comparisons, now.

“You’re just _hollow_!”

Mirror-Aqua cast Triple Firaga and then Fission Firaga, darting in and out to try and strike Aqua with her blade. Aqua blocked with Barrier and cast Thundaga as she rolled out of the way, as her Mirror slid into Firestorm.

Aqua countered with Magic Hour, and then Triple Blizzaga, and then—

And then her Mirror vanished.

Aqua dispelled the energy she’d gathered, though she held Master Keeper firmly. She scanned the area with narrowed eyes. She didn’t see anything. Wary, Aqua stepped forward. The mirror still sat in the center of the area. Could she leave it, now that she’d won?

She’d only taken another step when it happened.

The reflective, water-like surface below her shimmered, and suddenly there was a shape pulling itself up from it. And then another, and another. They kept emerging from the ground below, until Aqua was surrounded by fifty, a hundred copies of herself.

            “Which one’s the real one?”

                        “Which one’s the real one?”

                                    “Which one’s the real one?”

Each of them whispered the phrase, mockingly, until it a was a cacophony of voices surrounding her. Aqua spun around, trying to count all of them, trying to decide how to react. She could barely fight one of herself—how was she supposed to fight a hundred?

“I’m the real Aqua,” Aqua said, the words falling from her mouth in disbelief at the situation placed before her.

Every single one of the copies turned their heads to face her.

“But you’re hollow,” one argued.

And then another: “You’ve emptied yourself out.”

“Just a shell.”

“There’s nothing left of you.”

“You’ve lost everything.”

“What chance does a shell stand against the darkness?”

“Do you even have a heart anymore?”

“You’ve lost yourself.”

“Heartless.”

“Demon.”

“There’s nothing left of you anymore.”

“You’re hollow.”

“Hollow.”

“Hollow.”

“Hollow.”

Aqua spun around, tears brimming in her eyes, as the roar of voices escalated into a resounding repetition around her. An emptiness in her chest resonated strongly with their words. Were they right? Could they be? She was so weary… When was the last time she’d felt anything?

“I’m—”

The ground beneath her turned to water, and she sank like a rock.

 

 

 

_“Now I can be… one… with darkness….”_

 

It was dark. She couldn’t see anything, she couldn’t feel anything, but that was… fine. That was fine. It was comforting, nice even, to stay still. To not have to worry. To have her problems recede from her like waves from a shore.

Except… there was something.

A voice, she thought, though it was distorted. Like trying to listen to someone when you were underwater.

“ _Aqua?_ ” she thought the voice called.

Aqua… Wasn’t that her name? It was hard to remember.

The thought of responding was too much, so she didn’t do anything. She didn’t move. She didn’t speak. She let the darkness around her cradle her. The voice was probably just her imagination, anyway.

“ _Aqua!_ ” the voice persisted. It was still distorted, but it was growing more frantic. “ _Aqua, can you……?”_

It was easy, to rest. It was easy, to remain as she was. She could barely make out what the voice was saying, anyway. It would go away. Eventually, it would go away, just like everything else.

“ _Aqua, come on_.”

It was easy…

 _“Aqua, you gotta—_ ”

Something warm pressed against her hand. A feeling she did not recognize. But then there was something else, along with it—a shape she could not possibly forget. The shape of her wayfinder, pushing against her skin in a familiar pattern. Her wayfinder. When had she dropped it?

Wearily, she blinked her eyes open. The effort it took was enough to make her consider giving up there. Going back to sleep. She didn’t have to—

“Aqua.”

That voice again, clearer, more tangible. It was worried.

Who would be…?

She tried again, to open her eyes. She made herself breathe. Made herself move. There was something else, she felt, besides the warmth around her hand. There was something pressing against her heart. She knew this feeling, but she couldn’t remember what it was.

She opened her eyes.

A face came into view, hovering in front of her.

“Mickey…?” her lips formed the shape of the word—the name—in surprise. There was no mistaking him, of course, but to see him _here_?

She took stock of her surroundings. They appeared to be… floating, the two of them. She couldn’t really feel anything around her, and there were only the barest glimpses of pulsing purple-blue light amongst all the blackness.

“Aqua!” Mickey answered, laughing. Why was he laughing? He looked surprised, relieved, _happy_. “You heard me! I’m so glad, I thought you were—”

Aqua pulled her hands away from him—he’d been holding her hands. That’s what she’d felt. Pulling away made her chest ache, for some reason. It ached under that other feeling, the one she still couldn’t quite place. She didn’t understand this, or why she felt this way.

It wasn’t like any of this was real.

It was just another trick of her memories, of the darkness. And here she’d thought she’d finally been free of that.

“I…” Aqua began, but she did not know where to start. It wasn’t like this illusion of Mickey had given her any reason to react, yet. Master Keeper tugged in her mind, but she resisted the urge to summon it. This was not a battle, yet. And it was not a battle she could bear to fight, anyway. She’d already fought her two best friends over and over and over again, she didn’t want to…

“Are… are you okay?” Mickey asked, a different expression on his face. He was studying her, carefully, again with that concern tinted in his eyes. “When I found you floating down here, you- you kinda scared me.” He laughed a little, nervously.

Aqua stared blankly back at him.

She longed desperately to go back to sleep, to forget everything again, but she knew as long as this illusion persisted that could not happen. She didn’t have the energy for this, though.

“I… I’m sorry,” she told Mickey, as she moved away from him. Even if he was a hallucination, he deserved that. “I just… I can’t…”

It was harder to move, when there was no ground, but she floated away from Mickey nonetheless. Maybe, once she was far enough…

“You can’t what?” Mickey’s voice persisted. A glance told Aqua that he was following her, with much more ease navigating than she was having.

Aqua set her jaw.

She just didn’t want to see this turn into a nightmare.

“You’re not real,” she told him, because sometimes, that worked. Sometimes, that was all it took to banish the visions she saw.

“I’m—” Mickey sounded genuinely surprised. There was a pause, and then: “ _Ohh_ , now I understand.”

He moved rapidly until he was floating in front of her, blocking her path. Aqua started to move around him, but the way he met her eyes and the look he gave her made her pause.

“The Realm of Darkness sure is a tricky place, huh?” he asked.

Instinctively, Aqua started moving back.

Mickey grabbed her by the hands. “I’m here,” he said, and he smiled. “I’m real. Aqua…” He pulled one of her hands closer, placing her fingertips against his chest. “Can’t you feel that?”

She could.

She realized, now, the feeling that had been beating in her chest.

It was the feeling of another heart, another presence, pressed against hers. She recognized, now, Mickey’s heart, and the way it felt. She could not call it the brightest she’d ever felt, because she knew Ven, but it was definitely the brightest thing she had felt in _years._

He was real. He was here.

Her vision started to blur, and for a moment, Aqua was scared. Then she realized what it was. It was tears, heavy tears, welling up in her eyes. Her chest felt very tight, and she hunched over, tears falling freely.

“I’m- I’m sorry,” she gasped, clinging to Mickey. It was all just so much. “I’m sorry, I- I thought I was… I’ve- I’ve been…” The feeling of being found, of knowing she wasn’t alone, she could barely hold it in. “Seeing- seeing someone else—”

“I know,” Mickey interrupted, gently. “I feel that way too.”

Stunned, Aqua looked up to him. If he was here, then that begged the question: “How- How long have you been here?” Had he been made to suffer the same things that she had…?

“Not long,” Mickey assured her, like he sensed her worries. “But this place is… empty. Lonely.” He shook his head, grimacing like he didn’t want to think about it. “Come on.”

Moving forward, he tugged at her hand for her to follow.

Aqua knew that was the smart thing to do, that the way to stay alive here was to keep moving, but—

“Mickey,” she called. “I don’t think I can—”

He cut her off with a shake of his head, and a warm smile. “Don’t worry! It’ll be okay, so long as we stick together.”

One hand in his, the other clutching her wayfinder, Aqua let herself be pulled forward.


End file.
